How it feels (In my opinion)...

I want to start by saying I love my son more than (and in a different way than) I have EVER loved anyone else in my life. He is my everything and I would literally give my life without a second thought for his. But being the mom of a "special needs" son is more difficult than I ever thought possible....

I'm not sure if anyone will ever read this blog.. or even care, but I'm not writing it for you I'm writing it for me. And for my son. So that the next time I tell someone my son is the way he is.. they wont tell me "I'm so sorry." or "Wow how do you deal with it?". Your sorry doesn't help, it wont change a thing and only makes me feel like you pity me. And if you want to know how I deal with it..then read this blog I will tell you with 100% honesty exactly how I feel and felt and what my life is like now. I'm tired of putting on the happy face and telling everyone "its okay" all the time. Its not okay. Its the most agonizing and difficult thing I have ever done it my entire life, no pain compares to it and no loss measures up to it. And I want to write for everyone to read my sons story so far.. so when you look at him you see him for the amazing person he is and not his disabilities.

So here it is.. I hope the people in my life read it at least...